Wonderland

2 Oct

Last Wednesday, a friend and I took our small ones to the ice rink. It’s something we had been planning for a while and Maggie was beyond excited (her love of the movie Inside Out and Frozen has sparked a bit of an ice skating love affair). Although I knew where the ice rink was, I didn’t quite make the connection. As I drove up to the rink, I realised I was driving right past what was Wonderland Fun Park. What is now a demolition site. Wonderland was the site of Matilda’s Magical Wish Day and of course, it was where we said our final farewells.

After skating, we walked into the main area of the Docklands and I walked down the road where the hearse drove and I was overwhelmed with the feelings of that moment as we walked behind the car carrying our beautiful, beautiful girl. As we said goodbye.

I’ve been watching some good old Aussie drama on Stan – House Husbands, something light and fluffy to enjoy before bed. I didn’t expect that such a show would send me to the bathroom in floods of tears. But here I am. Sitting on the toilet, writing this to try and regain composure. In the episode I just watched, the families all went to Wonderland Fun Park. It is a poignant moment where one character is farewelling his children who are moving to Sydney. I had visibly recoiled as soon as I realised where they were but as soon as I saw the characters riding the rollercoaster, I couldn’t watch anymore.

I have calmed. I had to put Maggie to bed and read a story. I am in my room. This grief hits without warning. A part of me feels like it was coming, a week in which I visit the site of Wonderland Fun Park and see it on a show seems too coincidental.

And the fact that the park is now no longer there is a mixed bag of emotions. I would like to send my love to Melissa who ran the park, who gave my family 2 amazing occasions to hold in our hearts. I am forever grateful.

Here is the moment that Tilda first rode that rollercoaster and I knew what an amazing place it was. Thank you Wonderland.

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5 Responses to “Wonderland”

  1. Fiona October 2, 2016 at 7:28 pm #

    Oh babe. Rough memories. Glad you wrote about it. For me, those two days are crystallised and I remember uncontrollable tears on the second, and you checking on me to see if I was okay! I feel for you, this post piques many emotions about how you must be feeling. Sending you the biggest hug and all my love xx

  2. Irene Davey October 2, 2016 at 7:51 pm #

    Dear Laura thank you for allowing us into your thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, grief, happiness and the rollercoaster of your families love. I used to think a hug said everything, I now know words such as those you write are so cathartic and a hug 🙂 or two OXOX

  3. Jennifer Mars October 3, 2016 at 1:06 am #

    Dear Laura, so bloody, bloody hard. My heart goes out to you and your lovely family.

  4. Danielle Chartres October 3, 2016 at 7:41 am #

    My beautiful friend. How SHIT!
    That is all I have today…
    Love you! x

  5. jackie October 11, 2016 at 10:41 am #

    Hi Laura,

    I am just reading this now as we have been away. I remember being at Winter Wonderland on both occasions. One for a little girl to have some fun on a rollercoaster and the other gut wrenchingly devastating for you, simon and the rest of your family and friends farewelling the beautiful Tilda. Thank you for always sharing your thoughts, memories both happy and sad as you try and navigate your way through grief and just life in general. It is so fucked what has happened to you but always know that tilda is never far from our thoughts and that she has lots of friends somewhere up there in the rainbows. Sending a big hug to you my friend…xox

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