Outside the bubble

22 Jun

I was trying to explain to someone the other day, what it was like during Tilda’s illness. Not the shit bits. But about the feeling of being inside a protected bubble with Tilda’s happiness at the core. Day to day living cocooned us from the outside world and inside our bubble was fear and anxiety; sure. But mostly there was a whole lot of love and support. Inside that bubble were our beautiful friends and family, there were the followers of this blog. Supporters from the sidelines. There was a focus – whatever we could do to make Tilda’s life better. It was simple. Heart-achingly so. That bubble intensified in the weeks leading up to her death. A surreal two weeks living in an alternate world.

It has been a year and a half since Tilda died. 569 days actually. And there is now a feeling of being back in this world. Outside that bubble. And I’m not sure how I feel about it. This world seems grittier, harsher and tainted with sadness. Politics seems meaner. Closer to home, the faded bubble sees The Tilda effect which once seemed so powerful, having worn off for some. Arguments allowed to fester, a focus on the petty. It is reality, I understand. But I hate to think that things can just go back to normal. Wasn’t there something to be gained from this shittiness? A recognition of the importance of family and friends and love and support? These things matter. Hang on to them.

I finish my placement in 8 days. I will be launched into the working world, hopefully sooner rather than later. I take with me all that I have learnt from this course. I take with me a profound memory of that bubble that surrounded us during a time of terrible sadness. I take with me a knowledge of the genuine goodness and the genuine kindness of people which I know will sustain me for the rest of my life.

In the Bubble. Tilda on her magical Wish Day.

In the Bubble. Tilda on her magical Wish Day.

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3 Responses to “Outside the bubble”

  1. FiFi June 22, 2015 at 4:34 pm #

    xoxox

  2. Juliet June 23, 2015 at 8:45 am #

    Indeed, I hope the Tilda Effect will be lasting, but I also hope, too, that life outside the bubble is kind to you. We are living in mean and barbarous times, but I hope we can resist them. More prosaically, Good Luck in the (not unfamiliar to you!) world of work. All my love to you,Simon and Maggie.

  3. jackie June 25, 2015 at 9:58 pm #

    I love that photo of Tilda. Hugs to you all. I think of Tilda all the time and you guys! We must catch up again soon. Good luck with everything with the new job and look forward to hearing all about it. xx

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