Laughter, relief and smiling on the inside

12 Jul

My diagnosis has been confirmed as sarcoidosis and whilst this is not something that I particularly want or need in my life, the relief that it is not lymphoma is palpable. My symptoms are somewhat debilitating at the moment, double vision means I am unable to drive so I start a 3 day course of iv steroids today to try and kick start the recovery process. I will continue with daily tablets for a month or so and will have another MRI to check how things are progressing. I believe that although there is no cure for sarcoidosis, it will be something that can be managed.

Apart from not being able to see particularly well, the other thing I am missing the most is being able to smile. Something I have always taken for granted. With one side of my face frozen, my current smile is more like a grimace. As I was walking the other day and couldn’t smile at a person coming the other way, it struck me that they perhaps would simply presume I was rude or uninterested. How easy it is to make presumptions about people. I thought about making a tshirt that said
‘I’m smiling on the inside!’

Whether it is the steroids or not, I have indeed been feeling pretty perky considering! It helps that my beautiful Tilda is chock a block full of smiles at the moment.



And we are seeing laughter everyday.

I can also smile on the inside because we continue to be surrounded by such beautiful friends and family. A huge shout out to the wonderful ReVaMPed for raising $500 for TeamTilda with a mums and bubs photography session. To the very talented Ruth Magree and the very organised Liz Jarvis, thank you so much!!
Thank you also to my wonderful parents for being an amazing support during this rather tumultuous time.
I feel confident that now we have a firm diagnosis and a treatment plan, things are on the up!



12 Responses to “Laughter, relief and smiling on the inside”

  1. Jennifer Medley July 12, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    Aww, Laura, I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this! I hope your plan of treatment is successful! Tilda is so gorgeous and happy! Hugs to you both!!

  2. Cally July 12, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

    Dear Laura,

    Love the photos, such joy.
    Brought tears to my eyes.

    I am so sorry about the diagnosis .
    I have had sarcoidosis for many years, I understand your issues – to a small degree.
    It is a tricky illness, steroids hold it back.
    Google for support groups and help.

    It is the last thing you need with Tilda and Maggie.
    Very unfair.
    Rotten dreadfully unfair.

    Love Cally xx

  3. Ruth Magree July 12, 2013 at 1:02 pm #


  4. FiFi July 12, 2013 at 1:42 pm #

    Sending you love, your resilience and cheerfulness through all this is an inspiration! Love Fiona xx

  5. Didi July 12, 2013 at 1:44 pm #

    My dear Laura your diagnosis sucks and I’m sure it adds to your stress but at least it is something that could be controlled. It look like Tilda and Maggie are doing well love the photos. I’m sending you virtual hugs lots of them also for Tilda and Maggie wish I could be there in person to see you and the girls.

  6. Nadia packer July 12, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

    Laura you are a true inspiration, no matter what is thrown at you, you seem to dust your self of and get on with life. Lovely to see Tilda’s smile and laughter, hopefully the steroids start to work for u quickly and you get your smile back soon to. X x

  7. Juliet July 12, 2013 at 3:15 pm #

    The diagnosis is certainly a real nuisance, but at least it’s better than it might have been. Let’s hope the steroids kick in so the t-shirt isn’t needed. All my love,

  8. Waidehi July 13, 2013 at 12:09 am #

    Goodness me she’s just gorgeous isn’t she?! Love the giggles…and love Mags kind of hanging out in the middle there. I’ve already shared my myriad rude words with you about your health issues. Beyond the pale I tell you. However, greatly relieved it was this and not that. Love you. xoxo

  9. Adam & chez & jack July 13, 2013 at 12:47 am #

    Well we know that you smile is always on the inside, even if we are used to the exterior edition. Radleys know best

  10. Anne Bunting July 14, 2013 at 11:26 am #

    Tilda clearly has a sixth sense, knowing when you need cheering up and responding with her radiant smiles – the top photo is just superb. Thank god too for Janet and Bob who have clearly role modelled for you the care and unconditional love you are able to give Tilda and Maggie.
    Hang in there as we all know you will and hopefully the steroids will start to do their work.
    Love always to you all

  11. Di White July 14, 2013 at 5:02 pm #

    Bloody hell. We all know your smile, and love you for it. You’ll always be one of the most gorgeous, worthwhile young woman I know, and can teach the rest of them a thing or two.
    Whatever I can do, please tell me, and I hope the bright coloured gerberas helped a tiny bit. Love and thoughts, as always. Di XX and xx.

  12. Ken and Wendy Brown July 17, 2013 at 4:41 pm #

    Hi Laura,
    I am very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Your wonderful positive spirit is an inspiration. I am sure your inner strength and positivity are obvious to everyone around you. I hope the medication makes a difference for you very soon.

    x Wendy

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